Lyrics

I live at home
I have a phone
Buy my own food
Sleep in the nude
I have a chair
I comb my own hair
Tuesdays at three
I do some tai chi
My clothes are clean
Like in a magazine

Hey look at me, I'm hard to resist
I've got so many attributes, such a huge list
Hey look at me, you've got to be impressed
I' m the perfect answer to your boyfriend request

I walk around
I don't have a hound
Try to keep fit
Lift things a bit
Fridays at one
Eat a cream bun
I own brown shoes
Once had a bruise
Own a sunhat
Never had a cat

Hey look at me, I'm hard to resist
I've got so many attributes, such a huge list
Hey look at me, you've got to be impressed
I' m the perfect answer to your boyfriend request

Don't believe what people tell you, perfection's overrated
Never mate before you date, you know you should have waited
Why tarnish all the varnish when the answer’s gold plated
I’m sitting here, your perfect cheese, just waiting to be grated

I eat baked beans
I can be mean
Like to chew gum
Might scratch my bum
I plant tiny seeds
That end up as weeds
My beard is untamed
I don't have much shame
Bedroom's a mess
I once played some chess

Hey look at me, I'm hard to resist
I've got so many attributes, such a huge list
Hey look at me, you've got to be impressed
I'm the perfect answer to your boyfriend request